Friends

I have gone through many stages of having friends in my life.
When I was very small, my friends were my siblings. My older sister and I are 11 months apart...so we always were together. She was the one I looked up to. She took care of me. She pushed a boy in the pool for me once when we were probably 3 and 4 years old, just because he said something mean to me. When I went to a new school in 4th grade, she was already there. She knew how to take the bus and had friends. One day I asked if  I could play with her and her friends....she said no. I still remember that as the turning point of childhood friendship. It wasn't until the last few years, as adults, that we have began to have a real friendship again. We are both married and she just had her first child. We now share many things and she is often the first person I call about anything!
I was 4 when my brother was born....and he was a bother!! I loved him, but he always wanted to play with our barbies and get in the way:) Probably around 10 is when my brother and I really began to have fun together. It just got better and better. He was my best friend. We joked....took trips....talked about everything....were eachothers wingmen:) Things happened with him and now I feel I barely know him. It breaks my heart because I want him to be my best friend again....maybe one day.
I had lots of friends through school...as most people do. There was a group of 5 of us who were friends since 7th grade....a couple of them since 5th. All through school it was our group. Then we grew up. We went in different directions. Now I only keep in touch with one....and even that is barely a friendship. I was the first to get married and have kids.....only one other is even married yet and that was just last year. I am in my late 20's. I have my family....I don't go out or worry about dates or boys. We are all just different and I was fine letting go of that part of my life.
My parents. Oh my have they become such great friends. I will always see them as my parents, but I love that we also have a friendship now. I love that.
My husband. Oh he is my best friend. I want to do everything with him and be with him all the time. We were friends for a year before we started dating. I got to know him as just a person...no romantic stuff or drama. Just jokes and fun times. Then of course when we started dating I got to add more to the person I already had such fun with! We got to share more! I love being able to go out and do some crazy fun stuff....like a metallica concert in Tokyo!....but then go home and snuggle:) Of course he drives me crazy....there are times I jokingly ask him when he will deploy again:) But the reality is that I just want to be with him. Even when he drives me nuts!
As an adult I have made very few friends. I've had acquaintances, but to me it has gotten harder as I have had my children. I look at people and how they are with their kids...and I have to decide if that's what I want around my girls. I know it's a lot to live up to...but I feel the need to be selective for my children. They deserve that! They deserve to be around only the people I approve of. And if that means less friends for me, then that's fine. Of course I want them to be friendly and like everyone....but at this age they are influenced so much. And if parents yell or cuss in front of their children, they are out. If they are into partying, they are out. If they do things that morally I feel are wrong, they are out. There is one friend I have made who I absolutely adore. I only met her 6 months ago, but her and her family have touched my heart and burrowed in! She has 2 children, one is 2 1/2, the other is 6 months and has physical disabilities. That baby has just done things to me I never knew could happen. I joke that I want to steal her:) She is precious and beautiful, but has a very hard road ahead of her. It breaks my heart knowing the things she will soon begin to face. For now she is just joy and smiles and love. But I know things will get hard. beyond hard. I am grateful for this friend...for me and my daughters. Seeing the way she loves and works so hard for her family. I admire her. She has strength beyond belief. I am thankful we met and my children will grow up knowing this inspirational family.
I am not the kind of mom that wants time away from her family. They are my everything. I am selective of who gets time with us. I am protective of their happiness. I consider true friends to be family....so you're stuck for life once I get hooked by you:) And I think it is completely fine to take my time with who I get to know and who I want to know forever:)
I'm sure as I grow more this will change....as my views on friendship seem to be ever evolving and growing. So we will see....but for now this is how I feel:)